Don't worry, I'm still here

I must first apologize for being MIA for the last couple of weeks.
The truth is, I have felt a little bit guilty for sharing pregnancy tidbits here. I know that before I got pregnant, I enjoyed reading about everyone else's pregnancy progress, but I feel now that it's me with the ticker, I am just an irritant bragging about my jackpot winning.
And I still can't believe it's me this time.
I am finally at the 12 week mark. Tomorrow is my first appointment with my OB... although, I am leaning very heavily towards having a birth center birth with a midwife. Especially after my treatment with this OB in trying to get pregnant, where she prescribed me metformin without so much as a glucose test. She always treated me so flippantly and told me I was stressing out and that a romantic trip was all I needed to get knocked up. Granted, her expertise is in treating pregnant women and delivering babies-not dealing with fertility issues.
At any rate, I may at least get a better ultrasound tomorrow than I would at the birth center. I'm planning on going for their childbirth choices class before making up my mind.
What else? I am hardly ever nauseous any more. I never threw up, or had morning sickness- more of a sea sick feeling at night with extreme fatigue. My nightly bloat is gradually becoming more noticeable earlier and earlier. I haven't gained any weight, but my pants are all a little snugger and I had to get a bella band. Everyone and their Mom knows I'm pregnant.
I am still not completely convinced in my pregnant state and that everything will continue going smoothly, but I am becoming more and more confident of that with each passing day.

It's a struggle. I still look at the tp for doom.

I thank you all for all your love and support. I know babies are in all of our futures! I never thought I would be here, in this moment. But I am, and you will,too.
My cousin's wife just found out she's pregnant last week. She tried for two months. It still stings when it happens so easily, but I am so glad that I was already there. There hasn't been a baby in our family for seven years, and it was MY TURN to be next! They have only been married for a year, and she was very nonchalant about the whole idea of having a baby. She only made that decision three months ago. Can you imagine how much that would have SUCKED to hear that she was pregnant three months ago when I was in a pile of fertility doom?
I was thankful. Believe that.
And I am so happy that I get to be happy for her and excited to have our babies together. I am so thankful, and it could have been so different...