Nobody told me that once you feel that glorious feeling of your baby moving, that it would immediately become a source of obsession and yet another thing for a mom to worry about.
Also, no one told me that even halfway through your pregnancy, if you suffered from IF or a loss, you will never feel completely sure that pregnancy=baby. Your husband will. You won't. You will always wonder if this is the day your worst fears come true.
Not to be pessimistic or a downer- I have many days that are filled with baby love and preparation and belly rubs and talking ot my baby about what awaits her out here. But doubt creeps in after anything questionably dangerous during pregnancy-did I stretch my abdomon too hard? Did I give my baby salmonella by absentmindedly licking the spoon when making cookies? Is the plastic in my 10 bottled water a day habit giving my baby BPA poisoning? Did I cook my baby when I was laying in the sun for 10 minutes, vainly trying to get some color on my pasty stomach? The list goes on. The world is a scary place for a pregnant worrywort.
No one told me that even though you will love your new belly and will hardly be able to stand waiting to get it, you will feel oddly self-conscious when it starts to grow and everyone looks pointedly at it when you walk into a room.
But it is all worth it. My baby is healthy, she will be a reality in four months, and all this worry will be for nothing.
Right?
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7 comments:
I am so happy to meet another pregnancy worrywart. When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I would lie down throughout the day and stay very still until I felt her move and then I would go back to work. I was very nervous. I had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with her and I just wanted everything to go smoothly. Congrats on your pregnancy and I laughed reading about licking the spoon during cookie baking.
-Inventing Matilda
Yes. The worry is endless now. BTW, to warn you now, you won't stop worrying about them until the day you die. My DD is in elementary school now and I've started having bad dreams about things happening to her. I know it's all my subconcious worrying about how there's less I can control in her life now that she's at school/bus from 7:45 AM to 4 PM every weekday. I so appreciate my mother so much more now and what she went through raising me.
I feel the same way -- constant fear that today is the day that something terrible will happen. Baby moves too little? Maybe it's a sign that something is wrong. Baby moves too much? What if s/he gets tangled on the umbilical cord. And I am feeling uber-self-conscious too.
I am the size of a house, people most certainly stare, my baby moves like a dinosaur.... and I still have doubts and worries.
I wont believe it until I am holding that lovely thrashing pooper in my arms.
I hate to tell you, but the worry continues after birth, and well I can say through at least 6 1-2 months(how old Rylan is). Try to enjoy your pregnancy though, you've earned it!
I sure hope so!
I'm delurking to let you know I feel the same way. I, too, lost one at 6 1/2 weeks last August and am currently 19 weeks pregnant. I have an appointment next week (and will hopefully find out what we're having!) but in the back of my mind, I know I will breath relief when I see that the heart is still beating. So happy that we have both gotten this far and things are going well!
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