Me and My Baby

My apologies for being MIA.
I have a baby now..I know. I can hardly believe it myself. And that baby is about to be (gasp) ONE MONTH OLD. On Thursday.
The first couple of weeks were hard, I'm not going to lie. I was sore. My boobs were sore.My baby eats constantly, and in those first two weeks, it was more like every hour than every two. I was delirious and desperate for three hours of sleep in a row. Sleep deprivation makes me emotional, and at night, my sweet little muffin became a different, inconsolable baby at times.
This made me dread nighttime.
I shouldn't say inconsolable. She could easily be consoled by being glued to my boob all night long- but that was her only consolation. Did I mention I was sleep deprived and emotional already? I didn't know if I would ever be able to take a shower again.

At around two weeks old, the cloud lifted a bit. I have never stopped feeling the awe, love and amazement over my baby, and I don't think I was having postpartum depression, but I was definitely overwhelmed over being needed so much while still healing. Around her two week birthday (hehe) I didn't feel like I had just gone through childbirth. I could sit down on hard surfaces again. I could walk around without feeling pressure and pain in my perineum.Oh, and I got three hours of sleep in a row.

Things are going so much better now. Yesterday I ventured into the big wide world with just me and my baby- we went to her doctor's appointment, where we learned that my boobies and her great, insatiable appetite have caused another 1.5 lb weight gain in 11 days for my precious pooper, which brings her total weight to 9.7 pounds! Holy crap, my baby is growing up! We went to starbucks. To a baby boutique. To a bagel shop, and a h.allmark store for more thank you cards. I felt human again, just me and my long awaited baby.
It was wonderful.
Right now, I am looking at her beautiful face, and as I do every time I see her: am wondering how on earth I got so lucky. She is amazing. She is healthy, thriving. A genius in my opinion. I am already mourning the day she doesn't arch her back and curl up her legs when I pick her up from a nap.
Oh my God, I love her.
I love that I am the one she needs when she wants to go to sleep. I love that she feels so at home in my arms, the way I feel so at home with her there.
She is mine. I am her's. It is amazing. I just want to freeze time, with all the chaos and laundry and wanting to cry from not sleeping... I don't want to miss a second of this wonderful time.
So I'm sorry that I'm not around much. I feel like a horrible blogger, hardly having time to read your wonderful blogs and comment like I'd love to. I am so happy for so many of you, so excited for the rest of you to go through this as well. If you haven't, you will. And it will be just as mind blowing.