Baby Bug

I'm 4 dpo. The waiting is on!

So, for the past 2 years or so, I have awakened in the middle of the night with this odd feeling that someone is missing. Usually it's a family member- my little brother, or a cousin. Sometimes it's just random. But I wake up startled, at ridiculous times, sit up in bed, and ask my husband where so-and-so is. It happens all the time. I have never had a reoccuring dream in my life. My husband just pats me on the back and waits for me to figure it out now.
I know, its so obvious that you are probably thinking I'm nuts! My BABY is missing. I think my brain feels that someone is missing, but since my future baby is faceless and nameless, it attaches my brother, (the "baby" I was most attached to,) or some other odd family member or friend that is younger to the paranoia. So weird!
This longing for reproduction is so strong. It is an insatiable urge, need, and want. It controls everything, even without my consent.
My friend that thought she was miscarrying at 10 weeks, who was gushing blood and amniotic fluid, waiting in the ER to find out if she'd have to get a D&C and if her baby was dead, said as scary as it was, and as much as she wanted to keep that baby with ever fiber of her being, she said that she was thinking inside," I just need to get pregnant again. As soon as this is over."
her baby lived, and she actually lost a twin that day- a 7 week fetus was attached to the placenta when she delivered her baby last month. So crazy, right?! But what kind of urge and instinct, as you're going through trauma and emotional turmoil, causes you to want to put yourself in the position all over again as soon as possible?

Some women don't have this maternal desire and instinct as strongly as others. But for those that do, like myself and probably all of you, it is an urge that goes to your core and grips you by your heart. There is nothing as primal as it, nothing as non-sensical.
Baby Bug? hardly. I think I have Baby Epidemic.