Can I trade in this body for one that works?

Today is 12 DPO. My temp is still high- 98.4 at 6:15AM. When I went to the bathroom this morning, I had red spotting. And pink. but watery, minimal spotting. Of course, I went back to bed, dejected, and announced to hubby that my period was starting. Strangely, I was not emotional. Nor was I Bloaty, or sluggish like I should be if my period is on her way. And I never spot RED. Only Brown, and that has been resolved with Metformin. So this is odd for me.
But of course, my body likes to try new and improved tactics to get my hopes up each month. Let's try a triphasic chart on her! Implantation dip! Lets extend the LP by one excruciating day! YEAH, that'll keep her on her toes!
Each month its something new. I haven't wasted any tests on this unpredictable body. But I haven't spotted at all today after that, My boobs are still heavy and sore, and I am PISSED that there is always something for me to get my hopes up.