By holding, I mean there is no spotting in our household yet. This is a huge thing. Unfortunately, there have been huge things in past unsuccessful cycles- dips, triphasic patterns, "high chances of conception" noted on my ff chart. And they all were a load of crap.
My temperature this month, if I am NOT pregnant, has been very cruel. For the past 5 days, my temperature has been .4 degrees higher than right after I o'd. Extra progesterone from implantation, perhaps? Do I dare get my little hopes up?
I am so afraid of them falling again. I can't take it.
Not when another friend ( a new one, albeit) whispered to me that she's pregnant. 8 weeks. And that means with the previously noted pregnancy...the old it-comes-in-three saying that is oh so true needs a third component.
Do I dare hope the third is ME?
sigh. I am so weary of hope. Since this new friend confided in me, before her husband's family even, I whispered to her, "we're trying." She said, "oh good! we can do it together!"
I hope, hope, hope we can.
I don't feel pregnant. My boobs have been tender since O, I don't have cramps, I have no spotting. Not especially tired, or hungry, and I always have to pee every 40 minutes naturally, so that doesn't count. But see, the problem of no symptoms..they are also a symptom of pregnancy. I don't feel premenstrual, and my period is due in three days.
three long days.
Last night I was google-ing birth pictures, after spending the afternoon listening to my friend's horror story birth. dear lord. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have never been awfully scared of labor. Now? I kind of am. mutilated hoohoos scare me, cathidars and stitched scare the crap out of me.
I guess one thing at a time. Let's see if I can even get pregnant.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment