This is my mood right now.
I am obviously afraid to believe this pregnancy is going to result in the little tri-racial bundle of joy that we've been wishing for, but I am cautiously optimistic. If for some miracle it DOES, I would hate to have spent these two weeks not at least enjoying the prospect.
Maybe it's because I have read so many infertility blogs that I am jaded and such a realist when it becomes to getting and staying pregnant. Maybe knowing all the horrible things that can happen has been bad for me. No matter how many stories I read of women bleeding in early pregnancy, it comes down to two scenarios- miscarriage or baby. And no matter how much research I DO, nothing is going to tell me anything like my beta next week and the sonogram the week after that will.
Every situation is differant. Some women don't even bleed while miscarrying!! How's that for a quandry?
As the midwife I spoke with today kindly told me, "Women and babies always surprise us." She,too said that if my dates are right my betas are on the low side- but if I conceived a day or two later it would make all the differance. But all I can do is wait and hope.
Clear my mind. Take lots of walks. Try to stay away from the blackhole of wasted hours named Dr. Google.
I know everyone reading this understands where I'm at right now. That means alot. I hope when everyone of you gets pregnant you do NOT have to go through an ordeal like this. It sucks the life out of you,really it does.
But thank you, as always, for reading and supporting me. Can't miss a week on this blog, eh? Never know what you'll miss! She's pregnant! She miscarried!! She's pregnant again! Or is she?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
loren I have my fingers, toes, eyes, everything crossed hoping that you ARE pregnant and all goes well from here. I also wanted to stop by to tell you I password-protected my blog temporarily (family discovery issue) but email me at cityprof @ earthlink dot net if you want the login.
It is true. You hear stories of dream pregnancies and then the baby is still born. You hear of horrible pregnancies where everything goes wrong and a healthy baby is born...you just never know.
(I use Statcounter to see how people find my blog, I think there are others out there too but this is what I use)
Thinking of you, and hoping all is well.
Definately stay away from Dr. Google. I agree you should just relax and wait for the tests. Let yourself be a little happy for this. Congrats for coming this far. I'm wishing you lots of happiness in the upcoming weeks.
Everything is double crossed!
Just wanted to wish you the best. I know how nerve-wrecking this can be. You have many friends here that are thinking of you and rooting for you!
Been obsessively checking your blog to see if there is any news... Alas, I see you said in the comments to your last post that the beta isn't until tomorrow... If I'm going this crazy about it, I can only imagine what you're feeling right now!
Hope you're holding up okay!
I certainly can't miss a week, I've been checking compulsively and am shockingly excited at what's going on.... What a rollercoaster! I want you to see a beautiful beating heart soon! You deserve that!
Post a Comment